Rough Night?
by Kabuto Yakushi
Summary: Poor Gary. He gets bored easily. So what does he do? He drags Ash along and enters a rather... interesting bar! XxImplied ShiShixX Category change HumorParody. Oh yeah.
1. If Someone Annoys You

Alright, so here's the story. It'd been a long, tiresome, and pretty much boring day, as usual. And, c'mon, really, what else are you meant to do under those circumstances? I just did the first thing that came to mind. I grabbed little Ashy boy's collar and dragged him out the door. I'd heard of a new bar that had just opened next door and – hang on a minute, what the hell was a bar doing in Viridian City? Oh well. So, as I was saying, I dragged the poor guy over towards the bar door, completely ignoring his statements of "OMFG, Gary, where the Nidoking are you taking me?!" Sheez. The way he said it alone was enough to give you the impression he was thinking I was gonna tie him to a chair and shove a hot iron up his – b Okay, Gary, we get the idea ; /b 

Right.

So, I opened the door, and what do I find? A bunch of girls dancing around with the kinkiest outfits you could imagine.

Okay, so half of me didn't really regret walking through the door at all, I mean those girls did look pretty hot and what in the Sinnoh region am I saying? I was shocked. Shocked, I tell you! But I couldn't say the same for Ash. His eyes had practically fallen out of his head and were now rolling around the floor.

Okay, so maybe that's exaggerating a bit, his eyes didn't fall out, but hell, they looked like they would! After about what seemed like an eternity, a waitress popped out of nowhere, and welcomed me and my little wide eyed buddy further into the bar.

God, even though her skirt was incredibly short, at least it was an improvement on what the others were wearing, ugh. After being shoved into a rather comfortable seat and having a certain black haired Pokemon master thrown on top of me, I finally came to my senses. After dropping Ash on the floor like the caring friend I am, I took a little look around (I swear I wasn't peeking at the now practically clothe less girls).

Apparently, this was a bar made for 'Entertainment'. Hell, what people find entertaining these days is just…sick. I mean, who finds THIS entertaining?! God, if you could tear expressions off peoples faces and sell them on eBay, Ash would be a millionaire. It looked like the poor guy had been traumatized to new levels. Maybe I could blindfold him…Nah, that might give people ideas…Shudders

Anyway, I saw Ash get off the floor and seat himself opposite me. He still looked a little shocked. I asked him what he thought of the place. Man, what a dumb question. Makes me sound almost as dense as he is. If that's possible.

………

Okay…The answer I got was kind of…Well, I deserved it.

b What Gary means is, he got punched in the face, and Ash yelled at him for bringin' him into a place like this. /b 

Yeah. That. I tell ya, Ash can punch harder than you think. I STILL have a bruise on my cheek. Well, anyway, after giving him the whole "What was that for?" argument, he finally straightened up. We just tried to ignore the group of girls who kept eyeing us creepily.

We ordered some drinks, and that was about it, really. b No it's not. That's only about 5 minutes of the whole day! /b 

Fine then! When the waitress arrived with our drinks, Ash accidentally let slip that he thought the outfit she was wearing made her look ugly. Oh man, did he regret it…


	2. Simply Pour Chokalit On Them!

After hearing this comment, I could hear the waitress' teeth gritting. Oh, man, Ashy boy was in for It now… **Tell them what happened!**

Fine! Ash had snatched his drink off her; I saw a smirk spread across her face. _Oh boy. This can't be good…_

Next thing I know, BAM WHOOSH SNAP CRACK, we've got a chocolate syrup covered Ash. The lesson here? Don't insult a waitress' outfit, no matter how disturbing it is. Hmm…chocolate is yummy…**Gary! We know you love Ash, but…ew…**  
Oh, ew yourself. You love Steven AND I DO NOT LOVE ASH!

**I** **do not love Steven! --; You're just in denial x3 Carry on**

Ugh. Anyway, after a victorious 'Woot!' from some of the other customers, and a rather angry glare from Ash, he finally got himself cleaned up. Well, he got the chocolate off his face...

**Aww, Gary's upset!**

I swear, if you don't shut up, author girl, I'll knock you into next Tuesday.

…

Good. Anyway, after Ash ordered another drink (Mind you, he used MY money. Selfish little…), I noticed that he was staring at the floor as if it was the winner of 'So You Think You Can Dance'. So I started a little staring competition of my own.

**Hah! Gary's staring at Ash! Picture it!**

I'm gonna ignore that.

Well, maybe Ash wasn't as dumb as I thought he was, because after about an hour of staring at him he finally noticed what I was doing. Damn. I bet my life savings it'd take him 2 hours…

Well, there you go. My future's gone down the drain.

"Uh, Gary, Why're you starin' at me?" Yup. He just _had_ to ask that, didn't he? Oh man.

"Er…I was just…looking at your hat! Is it new?" Oh man. _I _just had to say that, didn't I?

"Uh, Gary, I've had this hat for over a year now"

Yes, I knew that. Of course. How could anyone not notice the fact that he wore the same hat every single day? Honestly.

"Oh…Er…Really? I hadn't noticed…"

**Alright, I'm gonna take over now. Gary's gone off a mental kicking spree for making a complete idiot of himself. Not that yelling at yourself infront of a bunch of people isn't making an idiot of yourself… Oh well. Maybe he'll figure that out sometime.**

**Anyways… REVIEW D**

**Oh, yes, I know this chapter's short. I can't think of anything, so I kinda rushed it all xD**


	3. And Then Who Do You Turn To? The News!

**I decided to update today because Galbinus seems to be so fond of this story xD**

**ILY man, 'cause you seem to be the only one around here that actually reviews o.O**

**Oh, and Gary's acting a bit like Paul in this chapter o.O**

**Yeah. And then when I try to get Paul to do something, he's so OOC it isn't funny. Irony sucks.**

**Well, it took 2 and a half years, but I'm pleased to announce that Gary is safe and back home with us. Alright, so it was 2 and half minutes, but what's the difference? Honestly.**

**Anyway, Gary and his sexy hair is back to continue the story!**

Me and my…what?

**Er, nothing! Just get on with it!**

Okay then…

So after a _very _disturbing stare from Ash that could be translated as 'What the hell are you talking about?', I said the one smart thing I'd said all day. 'Never mind'.

**Gary is an intelligent boy, isn't he?**

I thought I told to shut up.

**Shut don't go up ;D**

Graagh. You're a pathetic excuse for a human being, you know that?

**Love you too. Now get on with the goodness ;)**

Fine.

Ash continued to stare at me in that ever so bothersome way, even though I answered his question. Maybe he's gotten A LOT smarter and he doesn't believe me… Nah.

**You're mean. Ash isn't THAT stupid.**

Whatever. Just leave me alone, or I'll stop with the story.

Okay. I half suspected Ash to come up with some snappy comment like 'Yeah right' or something like that. But, no, he's not that intelligent, apparently.

"You never noticed my hat???"

There ya go. Confirmation. He definitely isn't that intelligent.

I was just about to reply with another 'No Ash, I've never noticed your obnoxiously annoying hat that you wear all day and snuggle up with at night', but before I could do that, I was interrupted. By Ash. Talking about TV. Oh god.

"Hey look, it's Barney the Dinosaur 8D"

**He did not say that, you liar! –Whacks Gary-**

S-Ow! Hey! Okay! It was PokeNews, not Barney. Happy?

**Moderately content.**

Yeah. Whatever.

I turned my head to the TV screen, and saw the news reporter, Gabby (From R/S/E) talking about some trainer who had gotten his Feebas to evolve into Milotic with hardly any work at all, blah blah blah.

"Wow, a Milotic!"

Gosh, Ash was amazed by the smallest things. How could he be interested in this show? It's just a bunch of gossip.

I turned back to my drink when the show had _finally _ended, with a satisfied sigh.

If anyone ever makes me watch that again, I'll scream.

**Gary has a very girly scream, y'know.**

Shut up! I do not!

**Prove it. Scream.**

N-No! Why would I scream? Guys like me don't _scream_.

**You mean, guys with girly screams don't scream?**

…..

That's it. You're asking for it now.

**Uh, Gary, what're you doing with that hammer…?**

_Uh, hi, Ash here. Uh, the author is currently running for her life from a mad Gary who is now threatening to pummel her into the ground with a hammer that just so happened to be there at the time._

_Until she gets back, REVIEW!_

**Blechy xP**

**I have NO ideas for this story! So, I need your help for the next chapter. Just make sure Gary and Ash stay in the bar, and drink a lot xD**

**Otherwise, my super secret ending will be ruined.**


	4. And What Do You Do After All That?

**Hahaha, chapter… 4! I lost track xD**

**Thanks to Galbinus (Again) and The Black Moon's Shadow for your support D**

**I love you both, lol.**

**Oh, and before I forget, this chapter was written by me and my friend together. But she doesn't have a FF account so…Bah.**

**At first, I doubted myself. I mean, I thought that was it, my life was over. 'Goodbye mother, father, sister, brother. Goodbye aunty, uncle, pies of all kinds' I said to myself. I – **

Give it a rest already! God. I didn't even hit you with the damn hammer, so stop writing out your will!

Now shoo and let me get on with the story.

So, as I was saying before the whole 'Lets whack author girl with a hammer' charade, I was forced to watch the news. HOW THE HELL CAN ANYONE WATCH THAT THING?! Ugh. It's so boring… But Ash seems to like it. Hmm. Maybe his brain is rapidly shrinking even as we speak… I'll have to look into that.

**How are you meant to tell if someone's brain is shrinking?**

Someone's brain will be shrinking soon if you don't get the hell outta my bedroom!

**Fine… Be that way. But I'm telling everyone and their mothers that you wear pink underpants 8D**

Like I care. It's not true, anyway.

Anyway, curse Ash, he brought up the hat subject again. I just kept sayin' that I hadn't noticed his annoying hat, which I really wanted to throw out the window at the time. See how well it flies… Hahaha…

But then he got up to order some more drinks. Oh, how I hoped he'd get the same waitress as last time.

But alas, nothing I want ever happens –

**What, like, being with your little Ashy boy?**

How the heck did you get back in?

**You didn't pay the rent, so I duplicated your key.**

Is that even legal?

Ah, who cares? At least I have the hammer.

Now, where was I…? Ah. Ash came back with two bottles of beer and tossed me one. I caught it, of course.

Uh…Nothing much happened after that really. We just had a few more drinks while watching people make complete fools of themselves.

**Just like you did earlier, huh?**

Oh go jump off a cliff already. I hate you.

Yeah. After about 7 bottles each **(I have no idea if that's a lot or not, I've never drank alcohol before xD If it isn't, let's just pretend, 'kay?)**, Ash and I both agreed that it was about time we headed back. Man, were we shocked to see that it was evening already! I guess the PokeNews show must be longer than I thought, huh?

It took longer than we thought, but we finally stumbled our way back to the Pokemon Centre. Maybe getting drunk without knowing it isn't really the best thing to do.

Oh man were Brock, Misty, May and Dawn surprised when they saw us walk in practically holding each other for support.

**Now, I would've paid serious money to see that.**

You don't HAVE any money, idiot.

As soon as we entered, we headed straight for our rooms, ignoring the MANY sets of eyes upon us. I mean many. There were other people in the centre, ya know.

So, I'd gotten into my room, with Ash still ripping my shoulder off so he could stand up, and I just collapsed on top of the bed. What an idiot I was, Ash fell right on top of ME. Oh man, this was going to be a long night…

**Muahahaha! That's all you're getting for now! Next time: MY SUPER SECRET ULTRA ENDING! Hahahaha.**

**REVIEW.**


End file.
